Yesterday was vague. Vague, as in a dream. I was sleepy beyond a level. I woke up only after reaching the college gate with a dreaming which I had already woken up and gone about my work. Such dreams can leave you a little spooked sometimes. The change in weather seems to have its effect I presume. Nevertheless, after reaching college, it seems to me that the dream-reality divide was causing too much of damage. Somehow, this reality seemed unacceptable. I wanted to keep pushing the frontiers of that divide and to try and find somehow the meaning behind both. Mom has indulged me in a short story and it goes this way. ‘A disciple was telling his Master how he came upon enlightenment. “I have not experienced That in any of the things which are created (That which exists). Neither have I experienced It in anything that is uncreated (That which never existed).” ‘This much she said and stopped, and I put forth the question of how then did he come upon enlightenment if not the experience that which is or that which never was. And she smiled, much like a mystical monk. I’m making this smiling part up because she is never really all that patient to smile and then give a slow answer. But let us go with that flow. She smiled and said that “He came upon enlightenment by knowing ‘He who perceives both the finite and the infinite, the One within who knows all and sees all. The One who is beyond time and space and eternal. The unborn and the ever-present.” This may sound like The Matrix and the Dracula mixed up, but it seems that time after time after time, humans have experienced themselves to be this form of absolute bliss, an identity that transcends this physical form. And it was to get a glimpse into this that I kept trying to push through the boundaries of reality and sleep yesterday. The confusion from the sleepiness left me tired and unwilling to even think, let alone plunge into meditation. Instead I just kept to my work. Now that I think of it, this seems to be quite in sync with the famous verses
Viswam darpana drusyamana nagari, Thulyam nijantargatham,
Pasyannathmani mayaya bahirivoth, Bhutham yatha nidraya,
Ya sakshath kuruthe prabodha samaye, Swathmanameva dwayam,
Thasmai sri guru murthaye nama idham, Sree Dakshinamurthaye.
In the mean time, I came upon articles that related mindfulness and its extreme benefits in almost everything. There is a TedX talk by Dr. Shauna Shapiro. In it she projects the beautiful message of “What you practice becomes stronger”. I now realize, that through my many days at Bangalore, I have been practicing nothing but stress and it drove me to depression and frustration. The worse part was that I had no respite at the work place because people came there with no freshness in mind or eagerness in spirit. They would even bring down your happy high spirits and enthusiasm. I also came upon another TedX video on Youtube called the “Mathematics of weight loss” by Ruben Meerman. Amazing stuff, it explains how the body works towards weight loss using fundamental chemistry and mathematics. It so happened, that Mom and I were discussing something along similar lines and this video fit right in. I have plans of trying out a few simple tweaks to my daily fitness regime to fit in the amazing stuff learned through those videos.
In case the results are much better than dogging away for long hours at the gym, well then, why not. So, here’s to another challenge. I’m simultaneously trying to derive a simple, approximate, analytical model for the hybrid motor as part of my research. That is another challenge. Life is interesting right now. Lots to learn and try. We’ve a weekend of temples and shopping planned out, so excited about it. Ah, the advantages of a cousin’s marriage approaching. So well, the essence is that “All is bello” 😉 Meditation and mindfulness, here I come. 😀 🙂