The Ugly Duckling

After the introspection from the FEA inspire I’ve now come back to college to follow that passionate love affair I once had with the 2D mesh of an SRM. Nowhere, of course things are different. My classmates who have always been there whenever I needed them are no longer with me. I’m reminded of a line from a poem ‘Now, the banquet halls are empty’. Ok, the line is wrong. I’ve located the poem and I’ll be adding the same at the end of my ramblings int his page. A beautiful piece by Thomas Moore. I’ve only just started on the work of design and as always my mind is shrieking about what should be the next logical step. It’s been a little more than a week since I joined back at SSN. The entire last week was spent in a sort of depressive silence. I felt that all of a sudden I had become an ugly duckling. Quite literally so. I had gained a lot of weight and hair looked worse than ever. The icing on the cake was that I had developed a severe allergy owing to bed bugs in my hostel room and that just showed up as big red pimples all over my face. The change in weather from Bangalore to Chennai is no easy task. For everyone who knows both places know that its literally self torture to come to Chennai from Bangalore in summer. Being Asian and given my age, the task at hand for all my relatives seems to be my marriage. And here I am, the ugly duckling, now fixated on trying to fix things before a match gets fixed ;).  In case I do transform into a swan I’ll let you know 🙂

Oft, in the Stilly Night

Oft, in the stilly night,
Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Fond memory brings the light
Of other days around me;
The smiles, the tears,
Of boyhood’s years,
The words of love then spoken;
The eyes that shone,
Now dimm’d and gone,
The cheerful hearts now broken!
Thus, in the stilly night,
Ere slumber’s chain hath bound me,
Sad memory brings the light
Of other days around me.
When I remember all
The friends, so link’d together,
I’ve seen around me fall,
Like leaves in wintry weather;
I feel like one
Who treads alone
Some banquet-hall deserted,
Whose lights are fled,
Whose garlands dead,
And all but he departed!
Thus, in the stilly night,
Ere slumber’s chain has bound me,
Sad memory brings the light
Of other days around me.
Thomas Moore  

FEA Inspire

Today was one of those days where I was disturbed for no apparent reason. I was weak and tired and I knew that it was not physical energy but mental and emotional drain that brings us to that state. The answers as in most cases are not found outside but inside ourselves. I had written in my diary yesterday night that “Life is incredibly simple. Keep moving.” Today returning back to office after lunch, I knew that I was at an emotional low. And that any I had to figure out a way. I came up and was browsing through LinkedIn. This page SMEKlib Released. It’s an article about Finite Element Analysis. It wasn’t the article that did it. It was the picture. The image of Flux density. Finite Element Analysis. I was asking myself too many questions and the answer to all that was in the moment I saw this pic. aaeaaqaaaaaaaacwaaaajdgyyju2zjawlwnlztitngq4zs05yjk0ltmynwvmnzy1njding

Picture courtesy: Antti Lehikoinen_SMEKlib Released

Like the dialog from Sherlock where he tells Irene that he took her pulse; the pulse is all that is needed. That did it. I kept asking myself a question over and over again. Going through the rationality of my decisions and seeking answers to what I would be doing. We all have to face uncertainty. We live with it each and every moment of our life. But the major decisions in life are guided by that which sets your heart racing. What is life if we cannot have them. The next time you feel your heart racing, know that the decision is right. Know that it is passion. Maybe sometime later I’ll write about the question on my mind as well. 😉

An ode of some amazing friends

This is a post I came across in my old book I’d written around the time I was leaving college. One about my friends there…sweet memories

” There are some people in life, who become part of your breath…

On hearing whose names your face automatically draws a smile…

Whose single word of comfort makes all the pain fly…

Our friendship is such that life would have incomplete if we had not become friends…

Through endless watery coffees and furnace high temperatures of Trichy…

Those Korean serials and exam time chats…

Fighting for the food at our mess and outings for fun…

Birthday bashes and moonlight dinners…

Late classes and canteen crashes…

Frightful semesters and lovely vacations…

Lazy mornings and Beautiful evenings…

Those beautiful peacocks and the Eucalyptus forest…

In my memories I hold them treausred my dear!!! ”

Writing this brings in a flood of memories about our times there…:) In the middle of the forest, an unlikely friendship forged :).

This is a quote I read on a calendar a few years back while waiting in a bank…I remember bits of it and thought of re-sharing it. ” What is so romantic about growing old with someone…but if after many years, your eyes meet across a room and the magic is still the same…” This is all I seem to remember; the middle and the end are obviously missing but the most beautiful parts are there 🙂